So the weekend was okay but I drank too much wine. I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to in phase 3 but I gained 3lbs. :( I was very disappointed as it will take me the rest of this week to MAYBE get rid of that 3 lbs I gained in 2 days! I wanted to be done and down to 200lbs this week but I might have to sit at 210 for 6 more weeks! I am just so pissed with myself and with this stupid program!
Or why am I freaking out about 3 lbs? Maybe if I would have suffered over the weekend and stuck to the plan I would have been DOWN 3 more lbs and closer to my goal? It just wasn't that great of a weekend and I feel like I missed out, I guess.
The friends that I thought were friends didn't feel like it and I didn't have fun like I was hoping and like I did last year. I felt fat, out of place, disgusting, and different. Friends aren't supposed to judge you, I know, but I feel like I don't belong anywhere anymore. I also had mini freak outs being around people I didn't know as well as being in a crowded space. I kept getting cold sweats down my spine and a sense of panic when I didn't have room around me. I would walk out of the room and leave and I was okay. I was also okay with a few friends but as soon as more than 5 people showed up chatting, I had to leave. I didn't realize I was becoming agoraphobic but I guess that's what it is.
I have a lot more to deal with than just my weight.
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