Day 9 VLCD

Today has been better than yesterday. Hunger pains are about gone and I'm feeling almost 100%. I think that 7 drops a day dosage is working and if I don't improve in 2 days, I'm backing down the dosage.

Yesterday was an interesting experience. I wanted to get a blender to make smoothies, just to give me something else to curb the craving of ice cream and such. So I went to Walmart, got the blender then thought I'd look around for some extracts but ended up walking down every isle practically drooling at all the food I couldn't have. It was almost hysterical in an insane kind of way as I looked at cookies, nope, can't have those. Then chips, nope can't have those! To salad dressings and really, REALLY wanting ranch dressing! I had a mental image of myself sprawled on my back in the middle of isle 12 in Walmart, covered in opened boxes of crackers, cookies, and croutons, covered in ranch dressing and passed out!
Then I sighed, counted to ten, let my tummy rumble as I picked up some apples and cilantro and headed for the counter.
Now, I don't know about ya'll, but for some reason my Walmart has 20 billion lanes with only 2 regular ones open and 1 ten item or less and 1 20 item or less opened! Annoying, especially when I was about to have a carb attack!
As I waited and watched this uber thin woman in front of me, maybe about my age, with one kid on her hip and another in her shopping cart I started to sweat. I tried not to look at the candy and focused on how I wanted to be like this chick in front of me when I have kids one day. I grabbed a bottled water while waiting and really debated opening it up before I got to the register. My back was getting hot and sticky as I could smell the chocolate candy in front of me! My sense of smell has improved 10 fold. Like when I noticed it after quitting smoking, too, but this makes it worse because I can't HAVE anything! UGH.

Regardless of my mild attack, I made it out of Walmart only slightly dizzy and to my car where I downed the whole water bottle. I felt better.

I get home and opened my new blender, cleaned it out, tossed in some strawberries, powdered stevia, and a tiny bit of coconut extract and HEAVEN!

The ice was perfect smoothy/slushy mixture and it tasted like a strawberry pina colada! I really, really needed that!

Here's the awesome Ninja blender I got:

Pretty cheap and it has a blender part and a little mixing bowl part if you want to do some food processing. I'll probably make my salsa in it tomorrow but I just wanted it for the ice chopping!



Oh, yes, my weight for the day is 216.8 which is a -1.4lb drop overnight. :) I'm pretty happy about that. :D


Lunch yesterday was tilapia on a bed of spinach and dinner was cajun style shrimp with raw celery. I didn't know how much celery to have, so I just grabbed like 5 stalks. I was hungry by dinner!

Today's lunch was veal on the go and cucumbers with my apple for breakfast and my usual cup of coffee. I did stop at Mustard Seed Market which is this big, fancy, slightly pretentious organic food store and got some Vanilla Creme liquid stevia.

(which was $14 btw! WTH? Too expensive!) I'm going to try it in my coffee tomorrow as everyone says it's great in coffee. I think I might try it in a strawberry smoothie for my snack today.


Some random things I was thinking about this HCG diet as I was driving around today: I'm on a birth control called Reclipsen which allows me to skip my periods up to 3 in a row so I don't have to worry about that dreaded "time of the month" like most women. I'm happy about that!

I adjusted my drops up 1 extra drop per dose, but people say to decrease your drops if you're feeling ick. If I am after this weekend, I'm dropping them down to 5 drops 6 times a day.

I'm drinking only coffee, water, and my slushy today. No green tea. I want to see how it effects me with out the green tea. Tomorrow I'll drink it again, but someone said on the forums you want the majority of your liquids to be just plain water.

I noticed a difference in how I looked today when I was going to the bathroom in the store. I can see it gone in my belly, with my sides and top belly fat shrinking and my boobs. Would love to get the fat off my arms, soon. Legs, I can cover them as it's not terrible. I have muscular legs from all the walking and dancing I've done. I am looking forward to taking more dance lessons as soon as I can. Also, I need to read up how long I should be on P3 before I jump into round 2. Or do I have to do P3 and P4? (adding of more foods then adding of sugars and starches) I need to figure that out. I updated my ticker all the way at the bottom of this blog...10.6 pounds lost and 57 to go. I'm going to be happy when I at least get this 34lbs off. A few more weeks, maybe?

Day 7-Day 5 VLCD

Not AS hungry as I was yesterday so I have to say I'm feeling better. I feel more focused today, though still out of it but not as bad. It's like the fog is lifting and dissipating slowly, though I wish it would go already! Today was a day I wanted to toss in the towel as I'm having some depression and my depression only makes me want to eat crap. So I'm fighting back the tears and drinking my giant mug of green tea, trying not to hate myself and think of myself as an utter failure in life. Without going into detail, as who wants to hear me complain about how shitty my life is anyways? I will say that I need better days ahead of me. I have to focus on that.

This is my giant "Mug O Rita" which was 64oz of margarita I got last summer at a place called Adobe Gilla's in Columbus. I honestly thought I would have gotten drunk from this, even sharing it with a friend, alas, we did not. Just goes to show how restaurants jip you! But I was told to drink half your weight in oz and this is the only portable big mug I can take with me to hold my green tea. I figured if I can get one of these down and then some, I'm in good shape! I put it on the table next to my fruit of grapefruit, oranges, and apples and bananas, not on protocol, but the boy eats them, to give you an idea of the size of my "Mug O Rita". It worked out good today but it has to sit in the passenger seat of my car. I debated buckling it in but if I put the lid on tight and jam my purse up to it, it doesn't go anywhere.

Oh, weight today, right. Not as good so I think it has something to do with the fact I added in a tiny bit of spinach, or even the beef broth or even the onions I used yesterday but I weighed in at 219.6 which is only a .4lb loss. :( Not happy about that since I have been feeling crappy and then I started feeling good after dinner! I'm even wondering if I have the right HCG or if it's bad or even working? I should have gone with yourhcg.com because they provide amazing customer support. :( The place I got mine from looked like the same company, the bottles being made in Denver, CO (Wheatridge, actually, which is a suburb of Denver. I have friends out that way so I know the area!) so I thought they looked legit. However, they want me to use their protein powder to supplement meals...which I didn't SEE that until they sent paperwork in the package with my bottle. I think I might have been screwed. We'll see and if it's a big deal, I'll send this bottle back and buy from yourhcg.com and keep going, I guess.
I'll wait until I can't stand it then figure it out. I'm saving a lot of money on my groceries and not eating out once a week or drinking, so I think I can afford a new bottle. However, I'm still broke as crap anyways. (hence, part of the depression)

Lunch was shrimp with cajun seasonings and some ACV along with half a cucumber with salt, pepper, and ACV. That Apple Cider Vinegar sure does help keep the meat tender. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself? Who knows, but I do know we need ACV to help clear out the toxins in our bodies, keep us less hungry, and a whole slew of other reasons. All in my nice, pretty, pink box. :)

I think I'm going to bake my apple with cinnemon and have it as desert for a snack here in a bit. I know I saw a recipe for that somewhere. I also joined up on the HCG Diet Forums because I have been lurking around there for awhile. Thought it was time to join in on the fun.

ANNNND just lost power, briefly, for no reason, WHATSOEVER as it's bright and sunny outside!!! Thank you, blogger.com for the autosave as I only lost a little bit but I had a bunch of stuff running on my pc! It also takes my pc 10 minutes to freaking load because I need to clean it up...so annoying! THIS is the shit that happens to me everyday! Something that just screws with me enough for me to lose a bit of my sanity and want me to shove a needle in my eye!!


I just ate my freaking strawberries for a snack because I'm hungry, pissed off, upset, and I want real food right now!! UGGGGHHH!


I know, I know, I can't be like this all the time; angry, hateful, pissed off at the world because it's out to get me. Even if it isn't, it sure feels like it. There was a time I was happy, wasn't there? No, I think I was just delusional for maybe a year or two in thinking I was happy but I always knew deep down I wasn't. That's why I changed my life so dramatically. But I only lived with the unhappiness for about 2 years, a bit less maybe. I'm on year 4+ of complete unhappiness and it just feels like I am stuck.

I just feel like if I can get my weight back under control along with my financials then I can claw my way out again. I keep clawing and I keep getting handfuls of dirt. What's that tell me? I'm going insane. And all I want is a fucking piece of pizza.

Day 5 and chugging along

Though I am having serious hunger pains, dizziness and foggy headed today. It's gotten better through. I know the difference between when my tummy is empty and wanting to eat something but I am battling both pains. One is physical and one is mental. This is tough but I'm pushing through!

Last night I had chicken and asparagus which was tasty and satisfying. I ate my breadstick for a snack and sat down to watch tv. Food has always been present in front of the tv, as I'm sure with most homes, but last night I didn't have a craving to stuff my face with crap while watching Game of Thrones so I have to say that's a success so far!

This morning, woke up to pee, took my drops, and checked the scale: 221.6#!! That's 2lbs in a day! :) I'm hoping for 2 more overnight as I've peed just as much today as I did yesterday. I might get excited more tomorrow morning if I see another 2 lb drop. Might. I'm still thinking this could be just a scam and I'm starving myself slowly. I was just so hungry this morning and this afternoon! No headaches, though.

For lunch I cooked veal at home, packaged it up with some cucumbers, and a breadstick in my MLP lunchbox. I also cut up an apple and ate it on my way to the barn. Also, it's a good thing I have a giant coffee mug to take green tea with me, but I found I drank it too fast and had to fill it up with water. I was just so hungry that I kept drinking! I hope that hunger feeling goes away tomorrow. Where's the feeling of "euphoria" as described in Pounds & Inches? I'm kicking myself in the ass for not drinking that cream as Linda advised on the YourHCG boards on facebook. I will remember to really, REALLY load up next time.

I had more chocolate sauce and strawberries for a snack today. I thought I'm safe if I had a 2lb drop from yesterday. It was just so good to have chocolate that it made me feel better! I was less hungry for dinner.

Just ate dinner of asparagus and white fish, tilapia with this really good seasoning I found at Aldi's today.

I almost forgot to take a picture for today but took one after a few bites into dinner.

I just ate a bit ago but my tummy says I'm hungry still. I feel a little worn down but not terrible. I could go to sleep right now. Maybe I'll just chill out on the couch for a bit? I'm kinda just tired right now.

Day 1; The real deal

Woke up, checked the scale, and woah. 227.4# That's a big increase overnight. I'm really praying and hoping this works!

This is all about portions and what you can eat. So I had my breakfast of an orange and a cup of coffee with Stevia. (yeah, need to get used to that!) and went about portioning out my meat for the next few days. I started with the veal because I decided I'll have my veal for lunch.

I was reading through the HCG Dieter's Cookbook by Tammy Skye and she gave me loads of ideas on how I can season and prepare my meals in phase 2. I'm no stranger to spices an whatnot so I went ahead and created marinades for my veals. Today was Mexican flavor and I added some sea salt, black pepper, crushed red pepper, cumin, paprika, chopped fresh cilantro, and white vinegar to the veal in the baggie. Shook it up and put it away for a bit in the fridge. I also made one with curry powder and the usual spices and one with cajun seasoning (no sugar in that, yay!) I added vinegar in all of them to help keep them preserved and makes the spices stick.

I then got to work on my vegetable, (though it's technically a fruit, back in the '50's I think it was considered a vegetable). Anyways, I made an adaptation to my usual homemade thick, and chunky salsa using one tomato, a tiny bit of yellow onion chopped small, some cilantro chopped, salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, little bit of red pepper, vinegar, the juice from 1/2 a lemon, and a tiny bit of Stevia to make it sweet.

The finished product? My lunch with the breadstick, was not bad. Not bad at all! Very full of flavor. I was actually starting to shake a little bit when the veal was cooking anticipating my food. I'm pretty sure I'm hypoglycemic but not severely and I think it could be the physical workings going on in my body but I'll adjust. The shaking went away after I was near the end of my lunch, which was very filling, surprisingly.

I might have made too much salsa, but it was one tomato. Adjusting to smaller protein portions is bizare, but I think it's going to be okay.

I drank a ton of green tea and have been running to the bathroom every few hours to pee. This is a good thing and I know I'm flushing out the fat and bad stuff in my system.

I started portioning out my dinner of chicken and made it cajun style the same way as with the veal. I also got some fresh tilapia and shrimp at the store so I bagged and tagged those and put them in my meat drawer in the fridge.

These are my new best friends! They hold the 100g of meat in them perfectly!



So dinner was cajun style chicken, 5 strawberries, and half a cucumber, cut up with vinegar and salt. I made 2 portions of the cucumbers and put them in small containers earlier. I like cucumbers soaked in vinegar. They remind me of summer and something I learned from my ex-MIL. Pretty much one of the only good memories I have from her. I was beginning to get a headache while I was making my chicken and had to wonder, is it the food withdrawal of all the crap I have been eating or the actual drops kicking in?

Again, dinner was great tasting and I drank a whole glass of green tea with my meal and I am full. Like, Thanksgiving dinner full! Amazing. I felt like I couldn't eat the last few strawberries, cucumbers, and last 3 bites of my chicken. I couldn't believe it. My tummy was full and saying, no more! It's been about 40 minuets since dinner and I'm still good.

I'm saving my breadstick for a snack later if I want it. I've heard people cutting the breadsticks out completely and still doing fine, but I bought 2 boxes of the things so I am eating them!

Day 1 on the lower cal diet almost over. I wonder if it will work at weigh in tomorrow? I'm a sceptic, but this protocol is perfect for me as it's all spread out in black and white with what you can and can't do. It's easy directions. I'm all for following a routine and black and white. I am very much a yin-yang. And I think if I drop down to a healthy weight, I want another tattoo of a yin-yang. That will be one of my celebratory goals! :)